Through with you
by Kuramaz Grrl
Summary: This is a songfic I wrote entirely from Keiko's POV on her break-up with Yusuke.This is my second songfic and I'm new at writing in the angst genre. So no flames pls. don't forget to R&R! please read, I need the feedback!


A/N: this is my second songfic I'm still sort of new at this. I'm still a beginner at this angst genre: So your feedback would be a great help. I had to tweak the song a little bit to make it sound like Keiko because she doesn't use slang. So yes I know these aren't the exact lyrics. Please don't remind me. I'd like to give a special thanx to KairiQuitis for the inspiration and encouragement. Thank-you

Sorry I tried to post this earlier but the server was down, I gotta hurry before that happens again.

Disclaimer: I don't own yu yu hakusho,and I never will. And I don't own the song **"Through with you"** by Maroon 5 (I just really like the band) I'm already poor, do you really need to sue me on top of that?

**"Through With You" **by Maroon 5

**__**

**_Can't you see me  
Floating above your head?_**

" _Am I ever in your thoughts, am I ever on your mind? Well, you're always on mine."_ Keiko thought to herself as she recalled her appointment with the doctor, _{flashback}_ "How does it look doctor?" Keiko asked nervously. "Hm, the doctor replied as he was stroking he chin, I'm afraid you are suffering from an unusual case acute anxiety...I usually don't like to go to drastic measures but this case is severe, I'm giving you 800mg of anti-depressants."

_**As you lay in bed  
thinking about everything  
that you did not do  
**_

"_Do you ever regret what you did, are you proud? If you could turn back time and take back the things you did, would you?" _she thought doubtfully as she was unscrewing her prescription bottle and gulping it down with a glass of water. _{flashback} _"Do you really think we need to take it that far? It's nothing really." The doctor frowned "I'm sorry Miss Yukimura, but I hardly think that 3 accounts of attempted suicide is nothing to be concerned about." These words echoed through her mind as she was screwing the cap back on. _"That's right,_ _I don't know what I would have done if Botan wasn't there."_

**_Cause saying I love you  
has nothing to do with meaning it_**

"Are you admitting you never really loved me? Just because you said you did doesn't mean you meant it? I'm such a fool I was swept off my feet, I wasn't thinking. The one time I went against my best instincts, proved so fatal. The one time I did something half seriously and look where it has left me."

**_And I don't trust you  
Cause every time you're here  
your intentions are unclear_**

"_Why do you still continue seeing me? Do enjoy seeing me this way? Are you aware that I don't feel comfortable around you and I no longer trust you? Do you realize you left me heartbroken, and drowning in depression? You don't make any sense and I truly don't understand what your motive is. How can you stare at me with those impassible eyes?"_

**_I spend every hour waiting for a phone call  
that I know will never come_**

"I'm so confused, when you're here I wish you were gone and when you're gone I'm anxiously waiting for your return. When you're not around I constantly wait near the phone expecting your call that never comes. But I can't simply think of more things fulfilling my day."

**_I used to think you were the one  
now I'm sick of thinking anything at all_**

When I sit alone and think of what we once were it makes me sick to my stomach that I thought we were meant for each other. I can't even think straight anymore. I can't take my mind off you. I am continuously reminded of you day in and day out. My head is racing. I can't seem to escape these thoughts."

**_You aren't ever coming back to me  
That's not how things were supposed to be_**

"I don't know how much longer I can go through with this; my heart feels drunk with sorrow. I feel weak in the knees; I can barely stand on my own two feet. My body feels numb. I swear a knife never sounded so tempting, I should end my misery here and now. But I am such a coward I can't bring myself to do it. Am I bluffing?"

_**You take my hand just to give it back  
No other lover has ever done that  
**_

_I offered you my heart that you thoughtlessly trampled over. I offered you love and you spat it back in my face. Was it a joke? Was it a plan?****When my feelings for you were clearly evident handed to you on a silver platter how can you casually give me the cold shoulder?_

_**Do you remember  
The way we used to melt  
**_

Do you remember the passion we once had about each other? The urge we both felt, to be with one another every second of each day. I miss the words you would say that you know would make me melt in your arms and you would have me in your control."

_**Do you remember how it felt  
when I touched you  
Oh cause I remember very well  
**_

I rested my head on your chest, I felt your warmth, and my heart was at ease. I felt as if my spirit lifted. I truly felt like I was in a dreamland. I was expecting to wake out of this illusion, but I never did. I truly believed in this fantasy for some time, until a week ago, my fantasy world and escape of maturity shattered right before my eyes. My world came crashing down leaving me with the dull empty thrill of reality.

**_And how long has it been  
Since someone you let in  
Has given what I gave to you  
_**

"I gave you everything Yusuke; nobody has sacrificed more for you than I have. I've gone against my parent's disapproval, I've sacrificed my friends, I even sacrificed my career. Only to discover that the man I dearly loved doesn't even feel the same."

**_And at night when you sleep  
Do you dream I would be there  
Just for a minute or two do you?  
_**

_Do you ever miss me? Have you ever had a dream about me since we parted? Do you ever wish I were there beside you like I wish you were for me? Why do I feel like the one that is paying for your mistake? You should be feeling this way not me. Is having a romance that is fair balanced between passions too much to ask?_

**_You aren't ever coming back to me  
that's not how things were supposed to be_**

It wasn't supposed to be this way, what about your promises? What about your never-ending chain of promises? You always did seal promises with a kiss to sway me away. You know they would make me swoon, and you would get your way. You knew you had the initiative all along. Love isn't supposed to be that way. What happened to our happily ever after? Was I the only one who truly believed in it all along?

_**You take my hand just to give it back  
No other lover has ever done that  
**_

How could you be so heartless? Throughout the years of my existence you have always been thought of as great importance to me. Even through our childhood years. You rescued me countless times, except for this time, This time I am more terrified than I've ever been, I'm falling and I know you aren't going to be here to catch me. Your voice that was always reassuring and brought me comfort now brings me torment and I can't seem to drown it out. I'm scared not just because you aren't going to be here to rescue me, but I'm scared because I'm starting to fear you, yourself."

**_Heartache heartache I just have so much  
A simple love with a complex touch  
_**

I listen to my aching heart. I wonder how we drifted apart. I guess our love was never meant to be with its certain complexity. I can't help but wonder still. What if things turned out differently? I linger on the search for hope and meaning but my hunt is drawing near. To my surprise life isn't as dry as it once was. I see things more vividly now, everything has reason again. It's then I realize I'm going to make it through this.

_**There is nothing you can say or do  
I called to let you know I'm through with you**_

I'm getting over you Yusuke; this is my closing and final chapter between us. I have to learn to walk forward. With my head held high boldly facing the world and it's bigger challenges that await me. You've made me stronger. I can see more clearly now, with two eyes that have endured deception, and a heart that is now wise with wisdom. Never again will I be swindled in the path of love.

* * *

Like? Hate? Love? Detest? Have I gone a little over board? I realize I kinda made the ending a little cliché and made it sound like the drugs were taking effect a little too soon! LOL! Anyways I had to make it fit with the song. Even though this may be garbage it did take me hours of contemplation so please be considerate if you must flame. And I am not using this story as my personal outlook on life. And no I do not believe I am in need of therapy thanks for you concern (hahahah!) 

-Kuramaz grrl


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